• Cynthia Gonzalez, 58, is raising two of her grandchildren in Tucson, Arizona, as well as her niece.
• Gonzalez has had to pause plans for retirement to keep her family afloat.
• Gonzalez said her schedule has felt “robotic” and “nonstop,” with very little time for herself.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Cynthia Gonzalez, 58, who is raising two of her grandchildren in Tucson, Arizona — one since she was a baby, and the other since age 11. Business Insider also spoke with Serina Palacio, her 40-year-old daughter, who helps raise them. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

I work as an IT supervisor for the city of Tucson. I’ve also worked for H&R Block for 21 years, helping people with their taxes. My husband is an HVAC service manager. We each bring in between $40,000 and $50,000 annually.

I came from a dysfunctional family, and I struggled with addiction for 20 years. I have three children, and my husband has four. Five years ago, before I started raising my grandchildren, I fostered my niece and nephew and later adopted my niece, who was 11 at the time. After adopting our niece, we decided not to foster any more children and gave up our foster license. We were looking forward to retirement and doing some traveling.

My husband’s daughter was in and out of our lives, but moved back closer to us two years ago when she was pregnant. She had her fourth baby, and soon after, we took in two of her kids, including the baby.

I became eligible to retire last September, but I can’t afford to. We are now raising two of our grandchildren and our niece, who are ages 2, 12, and 16.

We took in two of our grandchildren

At 56, I was in shock. What was I going to do with a newborn baby? After some personal struggles, my stepdaughter died in mid-2024.

We were encouraged to keep the two kids because we could care for them. We adopted the baby in 2025, and we are still going through the official adoption process for the now 12-year-old.

I received free day care for a year with help from the state and medical coverage through 2027, though I put the kids on my insurance plan. Even when I’m 67, and I get Medicare, I’m still going to be paying for their medical insurance.

There was a lot of stress at work when this all happened, and I was still going through the after-effects of watching my son die from leukemia in 2021. I was losing hair, and I couldn’t properly grieve my stepdaughter because I was also mourning my new situation.

It’s been hard on us financially

It’s been very difficult adjusting to our new schedule. At the same time, it’s a blessing to raise a newborn again and provide them with a safe home.

The financial hit was huge. We had to bury my stepdaughter. Food has gotten so expensive, and even laundry soap has been hard to afford.

I had a small EV car to commute to work in, but we couldn’t all fit in it. I got rid of that car and bought a bigger, more reliable one, so now I have a high monthly car payment. I spend about $300 a month on food.

I took some time off work after the adoption, which gave me some reprieve so I could keep up with the house. However, I’m back at work and paying $800 a month out of pocket for daycare. The kids have doctor’s appointments, and I now have to take time off work for them. You can’t take your personal problems to work, though, so that’s been a struggle.

Our whole lives have been readjusted to accommodate raising these children

My schedule is nonstop, and I feel almost robotic. I get up at 5:30 to get myself and the kids ready for the day. The 16-year-old drives herself to school, so I take the baby to day care and the other one to school.

I usually make dinner in the evenings so that my husband has a break, and I help with homework and do some tax work in the evenings or on weekends. My 12-year-old has been having some emotional and behavioral issues. I think she feels alone, so I’ve been trying to entertain her.

It’s not what I was anticipating for my older years. I’ve felt frustrated and short of patience at times. I deal with it by talking with my husband openly, sitting in the backyard, going for a swim, or detoxing in my room. My nephew also lives with us because he’s going to college nearby. I feel depleted sometimes by all the different directions that I’m pulled in.

The 16-year-old has medical insurance and some subsidies that I’m saving for her to go to college because she wants to be a physician assistant. She helps pick up the baby from day care when she doesn’t have a full class load. She laughs and jokes that she’s a teen parent. I try to help her out financially so she can buy clothes or eat out because she helps me. I know she’s so strong-willed outwardly.

I try to be there for everybody and spread love

We have 13 grandchildren, and we try to see them as much as we can. I try to instill tradition in them. I look at it as my job to make tamales and host all the holidays. I always say that love is more than just words; it’s actions. It’s showing them that you really care and can be trusted.

I’m trying not to worry about my future retirement right now. For some reason, God placed these kids with us. I know I’ll make myself ill or have anxiety if I worry too much.

I’ve spent hours on the internet looking for resources that could help me, but I didn’t find much. Grandparents raising their grandchildren is more common than people realize. There needs to be more done for grandparents in this situation.

I tell my kids that when they’re 18, I won’t be their stepping stone anymore. I won’t kick them out, but they have to have some kind of plan if they’re living here with me. I’m giving them the support I needed as a teenager, and I think that’s important for my healing, too.

My mom has stepped up in many ways for our family

Serina Palacio is Cynthia Gonzalez’s 40-year-old daughter, also based in Tucson, who helps raise the kids.

Childcare can be expensive, so I’ll volunteer my time on my days off. My mom will bring the kids over, or I’ll pick them up. We have a pretty big and dynamic family, so whatever she needs throughout the day, I help with. I don’t help out financially.

I have four of my own kids and work as a bartender. I’m separated from their father, but we have a great relationship and co-parent. It takes a village to raise a child. Things that I fail to see as a mom, somebody else will open my eyes to.

My mom and I have had a very up-and-down relationship. Being a mom really helped me understand a lot of where my mom was coming from. It was a lot of growing on both ends. Over the past several years, we’ve definitely grown closer and learned to put our differences aside.

My mom ended up doing very well for herself. She was very determined and dedicated, and never gave up. Now she’s taken over the role of caring for everyone, and never once has she hesitated.