I moved to Seattle from India for my husband’s job. The loneliness, cost of living, and toll on my body shocked me.

• After moving from India to Seattle, Neha Shah was most shocked by the immediate toll on her body.
• Instead of looking for another engineering job, she pivoted and founded a nutrition business.
• She said one of the most unexpected parts of moving was the urban loneliness she experienced.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Neha Shah, the 38-year-old founder of Ayurvedic Intelligence, who is based in the Seattle metropolitan area. It’s been edited for length and clarity.

I expected my transition of moving from India to the US to revolve around adjusting to the weather, learning a new corporate culture, and building a routine. Instead, I ended up rebuilding my entire identity, starting with my health.

When my family and I were living in India, I saw the move to Seattle for my husband’s job as an exciting next step. My plan was straightforward: settle into our new home, navigate the job market, and pick back up with my software engineering career in one of America’s biggest tech hubs.

The biggest shock after arriving in the US wasn’t cultural; it was physical. Within months of moving, my body began reacting intensely to my environment.

I developed chronic bloating, persistent fatigue, systemic inflammation, and stubborn weight gain. What made it so baffling was that my diet hadn’t changed: I was still cooking the same traditional meals from scratch that I’d eaten every day in India.

This derailed my return to software engineering and sparked the foundation for Ayurvedic Intelligence, my business as an integrative nutrition and health coach.

As an engineer, I couldn’t accept vague answers to my health issues

I started digging into the biological reality of migration and discovered dietary acculturation: how shifting to a new food environment alters the microbiome, and how differences in agricultural processing, soil quality, water, and food infrastructure in the West affect the human body.

That’s when I saw a massive, unaddressed gap in the wellness industry. Realizing that many South Asian immigrants might’ve been silently suffering from the exact same “environmental bug” without a culturally intelligent framework to fix it, I knew I had to build the solution myself.

I worked as an engineer in India from 2010 to 2012 and then took a five-year break to immerse myself in motherhood and family life. After I moved to the US and experienced health challenges, I became a Certified Holistic Health Coach through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) and a Certified Ayurvedic Nutrition Practitioner.

Jharkhand and the Seattle area are starkly different

While Seattle offered great professional opportunities, my daily rhythm changed entirely.

In Jharkhand, walking and community interaction were built into the day, with fresh produce coming from short, local supply chains. In the greater Seattle area, my life instantly became car-dependent.

Seattle has been investing in its transit system. The Link light rail has expanded significantly, ridership has been climbing, and the park-and-ride model works well for office commuters, but it’s just different culturally from India, where people are used to long train rides or making do with what’s walkable.

For daily life outside the office commute, like a spontaneous errand, a fresh produce run, or school pickup, a car is still practical for most families in the Seattle area.

The cost-of-living shock was its own separate adjustment

In India, domestic help, fresh produce markets, and extended family support made daily life manageable, even on a modest income. In Seattle, my family spends between $5,000 and $7,000 a month on housing. Groceries cost us more in a month than my mother spent in a month cooking for eight people.

In India, I walked into a clinic, saw a doctor the same day, paid what felt like nothing, and walked out with a prescription. In Seattle, I learned what a deductible was, what a copay was, and what it meant to wait three weeks for an appointment for something that felt urgent.

The salary advantage in America is real, but it narrows once you account for what life actually costs here. In India, my income covered rent, food, household help, and healthcare, while still leaving room. In Seattle, the same proportion of income covers rent and health insurance, and not much else, without careful management.

In India, I’d never once thought about loneliness

My mother lived 12 hours away from me by train, but that distance felt like nothing because connectivity was so woven into daily life that a phone call and an overnight journey could close it entirely — and making that journey was normal.

My neighbors in India were family-adjacent. They showed up with food without being asked. If I were sick, someone next door would know before I had decided whether to mention it. The social infrastructure of Indian life is so total that I did not recognize it as infrastructure until it disappeared completely.

Here, my next-door neighbors smile politely when we cross paths and then close their doors. They’re not unkind, just self-contained in a way I had no reference point for. I remember standing in my apartment on a Sunday afternoon, completely alone, with rain on every window, thinking: this is what people mean when they say quiet. I had never experienced quiet like that before.

Becoming a mother in America was nothing as I expected — and that felt good

In India, motherhood is a community project. My mother would’ve been there for the delivery and moved in for the first 40 days. New mothers are fed specific warming foods, given daily oil massages, and surrounded by women who have done this before. The knowledge passes through presence and through someone who watches and gently corrects them.

What I didn’t expect was how good I felt doing it differently.

My parents flew in. We recreated as much of the traditional care as we could: the warm foods, the rest, the rhythm, but without the extended network came no competing opinions, no anxiety passed down through well-meaning relatives, and no one projecting their fears onto my newborn or my body. Just my parents, my husband, and enough quiet to actually hear my own instincts for the first time.

The loneliness of American motherhood is real, but the mental clarity that came with it genuinely surprised me.

Finding a community in Seattle was more straightforward than I expected

Many tech-focused cities in America have large, educated, deeply rooted Indian diaspora communities. It started with my husband’s colleagues at Amazon. Then social gatherings, flea markets, and cultural events. One introduction leads to another, and before long we had a circle that understands both worlds without needing explanation.

The homesickness never fully disappears, but it becomes manageable when you stop treating connection as optional and start treating it as a commitment. We also make visiting every year, or every other year, a non-negotiable.

My advice for those moving to the US from abroad

For those moving to the US from abroad, study the US food system like you study taxes or healthcare.

Do not assume that familiar-looking ingredients have the same nutritional profile here. Differences in farming, soil health, wheat processing, and pasteurization mean your body is interacting with an entirely new ecosystem.

Most importantly, pay attention to your physical body during your first year. Persistent bloating, sudden fatigue, or unexplained weight gain are not just stress; they could be early biological signs that your gut microbiome is struggling to adapt to a new food environment.

Address those signals early before minor discomfort turns into chronic health issues.

Did you relocate for work and want to share your story? Email the editor, Agnes Applegate, at aapplegate@businessinsider.com.